martes, 30 de noviembre de 2004

El Generalísimo Francisco Franco habría reencarnado en un integrante de Locomía



Por Arantxa Abejón Robles
Corresponsal en Madrid

Un abultado dossier con documentos que probarían que Francisco Franco habría reencarnado en la década de 1990 en uno de los integrantes de Locomía acaparó la atención de las revistas del corazón y la prensa amarillista madrileña el pasado fin de semana.

En rueda de prensa celebrada en la capital española, Javier Font, creador del grupo Locomía en 1989, describió con lujo de detalles su descubrimiento: "Mientras intentaba reconstruir el grupo para lanzarlos a una nueva gira mundial por Soweto, Dufur y Fallujah, me fue imposible localizar a Carlos Armas, un integrante esencial del grupo; ahí fue cuando sospeché que algo terrible le había sucedido".

"Carlos siempre nos pareció demasiado fascista en muchas de sus actitudes", agregó Font sobre su ex compañero. Armas, mejor recordado como el Locomía de pelo negro largo y enrulado, fue encontrado en una reunión del movimiento de extrema derecha Falange afirmando a viva voz que "durante los noventa fui vehículo del Generalísimo, me infiltré en lo más corrupto de la noche española para intentar diseminar ahí mis ideas de un Estado autoritario y de corte fascista."

Actualmente Carlos "Locovox" Armas, se ha cortado el pelo y considera que el día más triste de su vida no fue cuando tuvo que dejar los abanicos y dedicarse finalmente a trabajar part time en una churrería de Madrid, si no cuando sintió que Francisco Franco abandonaba su cuerpo "fue la más dura de las soledades, sentí un hueco enorme en mi interior... fue terrible. Ahí me inspiré para componer Rumba Samba Franco, que por cuestiones de mercadeo grabamos como Rumba Samba Mambo".

Font no ha podido convencer a Armas de unirse a la nueva configuración del grupo ya que el talentoso entertainer considera que "yo no soy cantante ni símbolo para las masas, Franco sí y por eso, sin tenerlo a él habitando en mi cuerpo no soy nada, no sirvo para nada..."

En las próximas semanas, Falange promete agrupar a gurús y videntes para intentar localizar el nuevo receptor del alma del Generalísimo. Algunas hipótesis marcan a Camilo Sesto como posible nuevo contenedor del alma del dictador español.

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sig, vivo con dos adictas a la prensa del corazón: esto tiene sus consecuencias.

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TELECINCO dedicó uno de entre sus horribles o interesantes programas, según el color del cristal con que se mire, a la fortuna de los Franco. Levantó ampollas. ¡Con lo austero que era el General!. La FE, el papanatismo, viejos privilegios, pero ni con el enfado de los “entregados” la relación de las sustanciosas propiedades solo trasluce la punta del iceberg de las varias ramificaciones de lo generado en torno al Generalísimo. Las propiedades requieren mucho dinero para mantenerse a flote, y si sumamos la holgada vida de varios descendientes y colaterales, el dinero, en efectivo, manó de escondidos manantiales. Hasta las recalificaciones urbanísticas y el boom inmobiliario los ahorrillos del austero general dieron para vivir como multimillonarios a varias sagas directas e indirectas, después una de las recalificaciones aportó unos mil millones, ¡que se sepa!. A la suma se debería añadir la del CUÑADISIMO SERRANO SUÑER, que antes de su muerte a los 101 años desde PARIS pretendieron mermarla acusándole de CRIMENES CONTRA LA HUMANIDAD, pero no llegaron a tiempo y su fortuna la reparte un albacea con toda una oficina de apoyo en Barcelona.

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Areas ranging from Sydney, Australia, to the Russian Far East to the Hawaiian islands conducted evacuations and warned residents to be on the lookout for large waves following the 8.8 magnitude earthquake that devastated parts of Chile on Saturday. The Asia-Pacific region waited in suspense for almost 24 hours, the time that scientists predicted it would take shock waves from the powerful earthquake to race across the ocean in the form of massive waves.

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“Luckily, these waves are far smaller than the agency’s forecast,” said Kazuaki Ito, director of the Information Institute of Disaster Prevention, a Tokyo-based non-profit group that advises on natural disasters.

The tsunami warning was lifted in Hawaii on late Saturday after waves of about 1.5 meters were sighted, without any apparent damage. Beaches were briefly cleared of swimmers, and tourists were sent to upper floors of hotels. But nations further west left their alerts in place for much of Sunday, even after waves proved small, in case of additional tsunamis triggered by the huge Chilean temblor.

Nations took the warning seriously in a region where raw memories remain of the deadly December 2004 tsunami in the neighboring Indian Ocean that killed nearly 230,000 people in 14 countries.

Some of the biggest preparations were taken by Japan, where meteorological agency officials issued the nation’s first major tsunami warning in 17 years. They initially said they expected walls of water up to 3 meters, or 9 feet, high.

In Tokyo, train lines and highways in densely populated areas along the edge of Tokyo Bay were stopped for hours. Further north, officials said they ordered the evacuation of some 570,000 households from coastal areas mostly on the main Japanese island of Honshu, a areas that has seen killer tsunamis in the past.

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